2 months

I know she's still tiny, but it seems like my little newborn is gone! Hannah is growing bigger and is doing more and more things with each passing day. Around 6 weeks she hit a growth spurt and has been so much more aware and alert since then. Here are some things to remember about hannah at this age:

- size 1 diapers, mix of newborn and 0-3 month clothes. She is long and skinny, so it is hard to find things that fit her.

- about 10.5 pounds, 23 inches. Will find out for sure at her appointment.

- the biggest news so far: she has finally figured out how to sleep!!! I don't feel like such a zombie anymore. She will take several naps a day, though usually not longer than 30 minutes-1 hour. She has been wanting to go to bed at 7:30 every night, and has been starting off the night with a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep! After that, she's up every 2-3 hours before wanting to get up for the day around 7.

- she has the strongest grip ever and loves to pull my hair while nursing.

- she is still really good at taking bottles and usually wants to eat about 3 ounces. She is getting more efficient at nursing and not taking quite so long.

- she has started smiling and "talking!" It's so fun to watch her jabbering away, and she has the biggest smiles that just melt my heart.

- she only cries if she's hungry or has has pains. We've been giving her gripe water and that seems to help. 

- she has been out and about just about everywhere this month! She loves riding in the car. I put her in the buggy at target and she always falls right asleep. I'm finally brave enough to take her out on my own; she always behaves so well!

- her favorite activity these days is sitting in the bouncy seat and looking out the window or at the Christmas tree. When you hold her, she does NOT want to be cradled; she wants to sit like a big girl! She is holding her head up almost all the time now. 

Hannah is just such a joy to be with every  day. It's so fun to watch her discover new things. This next month is going to be so exciting with Christmas coming up!

One month

Hannah Jane is already one month old! This has somehow been both the shortest and longest month in my life. We are finally getting into a bit of a routine and figuring out our new normal.

Hannah this month:

- 8 lbs

-22 inches

- Blue eyes

- Dark blonde hair

-Smiles and laughs when falling asleep

-Sleeps 3 hour stretches (on a good night!)

-Takes a bottle very well-usually 2 oz.

-Takes a pacifier at night

-Sleeps swaddled but always breaks out

-Put to bed on her back, but always rolls to her side.

-Newborn size clothes with some 0-3...she is too long for her newborn PJ's.

-Size 1 diapers (although they are huge on her!)

-Stays awake most of the day

-Hiccups all the time!!

-Only cries when hungry...which is every 1-3 hours.

-Goes through about 15 diapers a day!

-Hates her swing

-Nicknames: baby hay (thanks to my 2 year old nephew!) piggy, tootles. 

-Very alert...follows sounds and stares at objects

-Favorite toy: glow worm! When she is fussy we turn it on, and she rolls over and just stares at it and gets so still and quiet. It's so funny to watch!

-Outings: papacita's, Little Rock, MOPS meeting, pumpkin patch 

We are absolutely smitten by this little girl. The sleep deprivation is harder than I could have imagined, but it's worth it to have such a happy, healthy baby. I know I'll look back later on and miss when she was this tiny and needy!

Our first week home

In some ways it feels like we've had Hannah forever. Other times, I forget we have a baby until I hear cooing sounds coming from the crib! I am definitely sleep deprived. This little girl likes to eat every hour. Seriously. A couple of times a day she'll give us a 3 hour stretch. Luckily I've had Lane home with me the last 2 weeks to help out. I don't know what I would have done without him. C section recovery is tough!

So much for a cute "coming home from the hospital" picture! She was starving and I was trying to wait til we got home to feed her.

First car ride. She looks so teeny tiny in that car seat.

First bed time story, a book my sis in law gave us called "God loves Hannah." Definitely made me tear up.

First bath. Poor baby!!

First trip to the doctor. She was 7 lbs, 20 1/2 inches, and perfectly healthy!

Daddy took some cute pictures.

So did Emilee!

Mama and baby trying to take a nap.

I have truly been treasuring every second with this precious girl. We are so thankful for this amazing blessing.

Hannah is here!

Hannah's birthday was somehow the worst AND best day of my life. I'm going to write about it here to remember since my subconscience will probably try to block out parts for me. 😀

I had to be induced at 37 weeks due to a severe lupus flare.  I went in at 8:00 Sunday night and they started a tiny dose of cytotec. At 2:00 am, they started pitocin. It made me have contractions 2 minutes apart, but i was still only dilated a fingertip. Early that morning I felt some wetness and realized there was a ton of blood everywhere. I was so terrified, but baby looked great on the monitors and the nurse reassured me that some bleeding was normal and was probably due to my low lying placenta. They kept upping the pitocin and I finally got an epidural. At first it only took on one side, and it took a lot of poking to get it to work. It was amazing! I couldn't even feel my contractions anymore, which were severe and still 2 minutes apart. I spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and gradually dilated. By that evening, I was feeling beyond miserable. Throwing up, headache, and started feeling tons of pressure in my back. By that point I was 9 cm. But then the epidural stopped working, and I was only numb from the hips down. The contractions were excruciating and one on top of the other. They kept checking me for the next 3 hours and I was not dilating past a 9. I always swore I'd never be one of those people crying and yelling while giving birth, but I literally could not help it. My doctor started getting worried about get I wasn't progressing and decided we needed to do a c section. The anesthesiologist kept pumping in so many different kinds of meds but none of them made any difference. They had to put me to sleep under general anesthesia. It was so scary, but I woke up and heard those words "you have a healthy baby girl! You're a mommy!"'and couldn't stop crying. She was 7 pounds and 20 inches. They said she couldn't descend all the way in the birth canal because she had the cord wrapped around her neck, arm and leg. I'm so glad we did a c section because I don't want to think about what would happen if I had to push! They took me back to my room and she latched on right and we got to do skin to skin before they took her back for her bath. She is so gorgeous and sweet. When she was on my chest she was just so content and sucking her little fingers and staring at me with her pretty blue eyes. It was by far the hardest day of my life, but it was so worth it.  Now we are in the hospital recovering. Hannah is already so loved and has had non stop visitors. So far she's an angel all day when her friends and family visit, but likes to keep mommy and daddy up all night. She decided she has to be held all night or she will scream all night!  Here are some pics from her first day

Peaceful after a feeding.

Relaxing with daddy

The final countdown

I have been keeping busy these days with lots of doctors appointments, ultrasounds, non stress tests, and trips to the hospital. Doesn't that sound fun? I've had lupus for 11 years, but thought that I wouldn't have any problems with it during pregnancy since I've been off meds and in remission for 5 years. My body had other plans, and I've been having a huge flare the past few weeks. I've had the worst join pain I've ever experienced in my life and have hardly been able to move. The doctors ran some tests and think it may be affecting my kidneys as well, which is not good news. Because of all that, and since my blood pressure has been getting a little high, the plan is to induce on Monday, September 23rd. I go for another appointment and more labs on Wednesday, and if my numbers are still elevated, there's a good chance the doctor will just send me on over to the hospital to go ahead and deliver. I'm really nervous about all of this because I'll only be 37 weeks, and sometimes the baby's lungs aren't mature at this point.  But throughout all of this, Hannah has looked perfectly healthy and strong. She is constantly moving, and I know I will miss those kicks and wiggles. Hard to believe I only have a week left of being pregnant!

The ultrasound tech tries to get me a good 3-d picture every week, but she always has her face hidden!

I'll probably do a separate nursery post later, but here are a few sneak peeks of the finished room. It's so beautiful and peaceful. 

So now I'm going to spend the last week finishing up a few projects, trying not to clean too much, and relaxing while I can. Please pray for a safe delivery and a healthy baby!

Big news and big baby!

I went for another checkup with my perinatologist today. They told me right off the bat that the placenta has moved out of the way and I'm cleared for a regular delivery. It's great news, but I already had my mind set on a c section so now I'm kind of freaking out! So I'm off of bed rest and hopefully it will be smooth sailing the rest of the pregnancy. 

Today (at 32 weeks) Hannah's estimated weight was 4 lbs 12 oz. That seems way high to me! But the doctor said that she's still considered normal and is very long. So she's measuring a week or two ahead. I was concerned about gestational diabetes since I couldn't take the three hour test, but after telling him my blood sugar numbers he said I do not have GD. It was nice to have a definitive answer, but I'm still eating carefully. But it's looking like we may have a big baby on our hands! But everything about her looks perfectly healthy.

My sisters-in-law and 3 of my friends hosted the most amazing baby shower last weekend. Everything was so perfect and it was great to get to see everyone. 

Carrie baked all the treats and they were so cute and delicious!

Emilee set up a crafting station where guests decorated onesies and headbands. So cute and creative.

Love my girls! We have been friends for so long.

I have almost everything ready and am so glad I can relax a little and hopefully enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy. Well, at least enjoy them as much as I can when I can't sleep, am having constant Braxton hicks, am super sore, can't bend over, and feel nauseous and sick all the time. But I can deal with it!

30 weeks

It seems like every time I have good news to report, I end up stuck with more bad news right after. The day after my last post, I started feeling really ill. I had a headache that would NOT go away all day, felt sick at my stomach, and my blood pressure was up. I tried to tough it out but started getting worried when I checked her heart rate with my doppler and noticed there were a few drops. We headed to the hospital at around 10:00 and they admitted me right away. They gave me a shot that helped with the headache and hooked me up to the monitors. I was calming down and thinking everything was going to be ok when the nurse ran in, shoved me over on my side, and stuffed a pillow under my back. Apparently the baby's heart rate dropped really far. It went back up after I was on my side, but they decided to keep me for the night. Lane slept like a baby on the couch in the room, and I stared at the monitor the entire night making sure her heart rate stayed up. Luckily we didn't have any more scares. The next afternoon, they did an ultrasound and BPP test to rule out any major problems that could cause the heart rate drop. Everything looked good. A few hours later, my doctor came by and said that she thinks the baby was just pressing against her cord, which caused the drop. Everything else looked ok. They discharged me and I got to go home and slept for 14 hours.  It was a pretty scary experience, and I'm terrified to lay on my back now! But she's still doing well and is just as active as ever.

We got to do a 3d ultrasound yesterday. I think I had my hopes set too high and was a little disappointed that we didn't get many good views. She had her face nuzzled into the placenta most of the time. But we did get to see her moving around and yawning, which was really cute. And she has huge chubby cheeks! They said she has hair, too. I can't wait to see what she actually looks like.

Third Trimester

Woohoo for third trimester! I always thought other women were being over dramatic when they complained about how uncomfortable you would be at the end of your pregnancy...let me just say that I totally believe them now. I'm barely into the third trimester and I'm already dealing with horrible heartburn, I can't sleep at night, and I can't get comfortable no matter how hard I try. Walking to get the mail feels like running a marathon. But at least the end is in sight!

We had a good check up with the high risk doctor today. I was really dreading getting bad news. They did an ultrasound and said the placenta is still low, but it is not centered or complete like they said earlier. It's now marginal placenta previa. The doctor doesn't think it will move anymore, so a c-section is still likely. But at least now the risk for bleeding and major complications is less. Also, the doctor said I don't have to be on strict bed rest anymore. He said I could try a few light activities and even go out to eat or run to the store real quick. I am so excited about leaving the house for something other than doctor's appointments!  Baby girl is looking healthy and measuring great. They estimated her weight at 3 lbs. 2 oz. She has turned head down, which would explain all the crazy kicks to my ribs. She's also been rolling around a lot and it is the weirdest feeling ever. You can just see this big bump drag across my belly. 

Here are a couple of pictures from our ultrasound.  We are having a 3d ultrasound done in a couple of weeks, and I can't wait to see those chubby cheeks.

It looks like she's smiling!!

Profile shot:

Little Rock Baby Shower

Months ago, my amazing friend Beth and her mother offered to throw me a baby shower in little rock since most of Lane's family and friends live there. I was really looking forward to going and seeing everyone. When I was in the hospital and was told I would be on bed rest, missing the shower was the first thing I thought about. Luckily, all the hostesses decided to go ahead and have the shower, and Lane went in my place and opened all the gifts. We also did face time throughout the shower so I could talk to all the guest and see the gifts being opened. 

The awesome hostesses!

Some of the decorations and food

Lane's car packed to the roof with gifts!

Just part of the pile of gifts that I was so excited to open!

Lane and I are so blessed to have so many people that love and support us.

Hannah is already very spoiled!

Life on bed rest

I'm on day 5 of bed rest, and hopefully have a lot more to go before I have this baby. Hopefully I can make it to about 37 weeks. That seems like a million years from now.

It's definitely a huge change being forced to lay down all day. It was fun at first, being able to watch movies and read all day and have people bring me food. But now I'm getting to the point where I'd give anything just to be able to walk around the yard or clean up the house. My doctor says I have to be totally reclined for as much of the day as possible. I even eat my meals laying down with a tray.  

This has been really hard on me emotionally, as well. About a hundred times a day I alternate between crying/worrying that we're going to have more complications; and then being upbeat and optimistic that everything will be fine. I'm still just trying to remind myself to be thankful for every day I can keep this baby inside. 

We finally got the nursery started and it makes me so happy to just stop and stare at it when I'm on the way to the bathroom.  Still a lot of work and decorating to do, but it looks like lane will have to be in charge of that.  Tomorrow I will be 26 weeks. Just keep praying that Hannah stays put and keeps growing!

Another setback

This is hard to write about because I'm still having trouble processing it. 

Thursday was mine and Lane's 4th anniversary. On a whim I decided to go to Marshall (where he works) and have lunch with him. I picked him up and we went to a cute little cafe downtown. We had a nice lunch and were having a good time just relaxing ad joking around. I felt totally fine, which is why what happened next came totally out of the blue.

We stood up to go pay our check. While lane paid, I went to the restroom before the drive back home. I immediately came back out and told lane we had to go to the E.R. I was bleeding. Bad. I didn't have cramps or anything, it was totally painless.

He somehow got me to the Marshall E.R. In record time while I tried not to fear the worst. The check in lady was just taking her sweet time and I was trying not to freak out and yell at her. Finally they brought a wheelchair down and after what felt like the longest elevator ride of my life, we made it to labor and delivery. They immediately hooked me up o a doppler and I've never been so happy to hear that sound...her heart beating away. They started examining me and hooking me up to all kinds of monitors and an IV. They sent up a portable ultrasound and the tech and radiologist mentioned that it looked like the placenta was just barely over the cervix. A condition called placenta previa, which can cause painless bleeding like I had. They decided to transfer me to the Longview hospital since they weren't equipped to handle this type of situation. It was a 45 minute ambulance ride. Can't wait to get the bill on that one!

By the time we got to the hospital, I was in good spirits.  More monitors and IV, and the baby seemed as happy as can be in there kicking away and oblivious to everything going on. Emilee and my mom came and we spent a lot of time talking and laughing. My doctor also came and sounded reassuring and said we would run more tests tomorrow. Everyone left and I tried to get some sleep, which was impossible with all the monitors hooked up that kept constantly alerting. They had one to track her heart, but anytime she moved or I moved, it would lose her and ding incessantly until someone would come reset it 20 minutes later. So, not a fun night.

They took me to ultrasound at 6 am, then back to my room. My doctor came back with the report that said complete placenta previa, which is a dangerous condition where the placenta is completely covering the cervix.  Women who have this can hemorrhage and have to deliver the baby immediately. I was lucky that my bleeding stopped when it did. But I'm basically a ticking time bomb and it could happen again anytime.

They moved me to another room and monitored me for another night to make sure baby was ok and there was no more bleeding. I had lots of visitors to keep me company. They also gave me steroid shots to help the baby's lungs mature in case I have to deliver early.

I'm home now on strict bed rest. I can only get up to shower or use the restroom. Luckily I have lots of friends and family offering to help us. I'd like to say the outlook looks good, but you never know with this condition. The odds are on my side. I'm just taking it one day at a time and hoping we can make it another month or so without any complications. I

Yay summer!

Summer is finally here and it's been so nice to relax a little. It was harder than I thought it'd be to say bye to all my students and coworkers. But now that I'm on my second week of no work, it all seems like a distant memory.

I went to the high risk doc in Shreveport yesterday and got a great report. He said everything looked perfect. The echogenic bowel they found last time still showed up on the ultrasound, but it looks to be improving and since all the tests they ran were negative, the doctor seems confident that it is nothing to worry about. Lane got to go with me and was just in awe the whole time. He had seen her on ultrasound before, but now that she's bigger and more active, you can actually tell what you're looking at. She kept opening and closing her mouth. It was so cute!  She is measuring right on track and is 1 pound 7 ounces. The only thing that worried me a bit is that the doctor said he wants me to deliver by 38 weeks. He said a lot of lupus related complications can crop up in those last few weeks. I'll talk with my regular OB and see what she thinks. I also have to go back to him every three weeks and see my regular OB every week. Yikes.

It's been so fun to start decorating and planning. We haven't painted the nursery yet, but we put the crib up and have started on a few projects. Here are some pics of my life lately.

Lane putting the crib together

I made these bows and bow holder and think they are SO cute!

Finished the valance for the window. These are the fabrics we'll be using in the nursery.

12 weeks and 23 weeks.  I haven't gained much weight, but that belly sure is getting big!

Hannah's first book. We couldn't resist buying it!